Ernest Hemingway once said, “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” But what if I just want to pen it down even though I am not hurting in major.
We didn’t look for this love. We really didn’t. It wasn’t our best intention to fall in love because we were more than aware of the chances that we have in making it work is 000. And in spite of it and all, we jumped with both our feet and gave it a shot. Regardless. Well, I am grateful that we were… Very, very grateful that we grabbed every single chance we had, believed in the it’s a forever kind of thing and put our heart and soul into making us work. Distance gave us a reason to love harder. Because there is no greater purpose in life than to love. It’s not like we don’t love each other anymore. I am saying this completely without expectations and with a heart full of joy and pride because once upon a time. However, I am at peace with that now. It was exciting, and scary as hell, but it also gave us an entirety of experience we may not have had, had it not been this way. We fought every fighting chance our love had until we can’t get up off the ground anymore. It reached the dead end, it’s most likely because it is. It’s a bitter pill to swallow as life gets in the way. I guess our lives were only meant to intersect for just long enough to create the contrast we needed to go on living the rest of it.
I may never understand why of all the precious souls in this world we found each other – no matter the circumstances, no matter the time. It sounds like a fairytale and it indeed felt like one, a thousand times over. You were both the life that I want and the love that I desire. You are by far (will always be) my favorite color because your life has truly been my life’s best part. Your passion for life has encouraged me to dream bigger, love harder and find beauty everywhere. You reminded me that not everything has to go according to plan. You reminded me to accept what comes and love it every millisecond its here.
Forgive me for being so outright. I know it’s selfish but, I hope I drift through your mind on occasion or a part of you miss me when you least expect it or your heart pounds when you’re reminded of me. I may be hoping for that even more but, I entrust us to God long before. I leave and put our futures in His hands, together or not. That we shouldn’t fear what needs to be lost. We may not see it at this moment but we will look back and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how everything finds its place to be wonderful and amazing and life-changing.
Will we ever cross paths again years from now down the road? Like we always say, we’ll never know. Because it’s unknown as it is uncertain. So, cheers to both the unknown and uncertain that lies after us. I am now at the other side, miles and months apart, hoping and praying for you to accomplish so much in life and for you to grow and evolve into a better, stronger version of who you were yesterday while I am being busy enough to be productive; working a career that I love, setting aside money to travel the world, shopping for the stuff I like and saving for my future. Just generally, living in my today and trying to figure out the destination of my tomorrow. And believing it is all a matter of time. It always is.